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John Dog's Apartment
from Hell
(continued)
Bader than he looks.
Understand?
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KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , I've been sent here
to kill you. You fucked them over once too
often. (more) 2. KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , (cont'd) I'm
supposed to blow your brains across this fifty
dollar a week apartment as an example. (beat) How much do you
owe?
TWO SHOT--The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG AND
KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , KARL, the Mysterious
MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , is sitting on the edge of the bed, casually. The Eccentric American
Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG
is frozen stiff in the act of sitting up. The Eccentric American Artist,
John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG Twelve hundred dollars. KARL, the Mysterious
MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , Twelve
hundred dollars. That's nothing. You must have put them off a long time.
The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG Yeah.
KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , Your life is finished. You're going
to be murdered for twelve hundred dollars.
(beat) You see that quarter there on the window sill? Take it. The
Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG takes it. KARL,
the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN,
(continuing) This is one of those ratholes with no phone in the room, no
bathroom?
The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG Out in the
hall. KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, Then I want you to go out
into the hall and call somebody.
Get the operator to call somebody out of state. you got any kin out of
state?
The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG My
FUNKY HALF SISTER, Sarah. She's in Kansas. 3. KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES
MAN, Call
her. Tell her you're in trouble
and you need to stay with her for a while. The Eccentric American Artist,
John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG I couldn't--- KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK
MUSIC PICTURES MAN, If you'd swallowed
your pride earlier, you wouldn't be in this mess. You go call her. KARL,
the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, stands
up. KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, (continuing) KARL,
the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, come on. Move. The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG shakily stands. He's wearing a flabby
Elmo tank-top and ripped boxer shorts. He starts to leave, stops when
KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN,
doesn't move. The Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG
Are you, uh---- KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , (shakes head)
You're a big boy. I can
hear you in the hallway. If you're not on the phone in fifteen seconds,
I'll come
out and blow you in half. But if you're smart, you'll call and come back
anyway.
Because I'm the only chance you've got to stay alive. Understand? The
Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG nods. KARL, the
Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN,
(continuing) Make it quick. We'll have to leave soon. The Eccentric
American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG walks to the door, opens
it, and looks back at KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, ,.
KARL, the Mysterious MR. FUNK MUSIC PICTURES MAN, , makes a shooing motion with the gun. The
Eccentric American Artist, John D'Agostino, aka JOHN DOG leaves.
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A John Dog Thriller
by Jeff Lester, Native Californian with Small Glasses edited by John D'Agostino, Eccentric American Artist, aka John Dog
What it looked like new.
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